“You Fucked a Girl”, “I Kissed a girl” cover
August 1, 2008
Though I was out to myself long before, I didn’t experience my first girl kiss until I left my traditional Mexican Catholic hometown of McAllen, Tx. Leaving home for the first time, I didn’t exactly escape conservatism, just traded it in for something a little more Country. I somehow found myself at an “elite Southern institution” where the Greek system affected the academic schedule.
Never mind her name. She was an outgoing, quirky, theater type who lived a few doors down from me on the 4th floor of Renke Hall. I don’t remember how we became friends, but we would hang out in the dorms together and catch the occasional dining hall Sunday brunch. There seemed to be some kind of mutual curiosity between us, eventually leading to a hot make-out session in her room.
The kiss lasted though a good portion of her play list, including ‘California Dreaming’, and we came to a sudden pause. She made me promise not to tell anyone about our liaison right before explaining how she was only making out with me because she didn’t have a man.
Ouch!
I’ve learned from more than that occasion that desire does not define identity and identity has the power to stifle desire. Maybe this is why I’m irked by Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”, in fact it really bothered me (It doesn’t help that she sings another song that begins with “I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf while jacking off listening to Mozart”.)
I’ve experienced sexual encounters with women that make me feel like their “experimental game”, right before they stop the situation to pick up the cell phone call from their boyfriends.
Ouch!
Maybe one day I’ll be able fetishize sleeping with self-identified straight girls and win enough toaster ovens to give them away as weekly contest prizes for my blog. Who knows! Anyway, I came up with my own version of Perry’s song in order to reclaim and come to peace with my first girl kiss and some of my frustrations with identity, the patriarchy and internalized homophobia.
Disclaimer: In the case I might be read as a labrys-waving-biphobic-dyke, I love women and I love to sleep with people who own and celebrate their sexuality, whatever their sexual identity.
This is the first time I’ve uploaded a video of me singing and playing the guitar online. Hopefully I’ll do more!
43 Comments, Comment or Ping
Feral Mom
You are a fucking genius.
Aug 1st, 2008
Kathryn Martini
I could listen to you sing for hours. You’re amazing.
Aug 1st, 2008
Mollena
As always, the song is a delight
I think using one’s sexuality as an excuse for shoddy treatment of another human being is inexcusable.
My experience has been mixed! I had a girlfriend who, at the time, identified as straight and assured me that she “wasn’t gay” but that she was “just madly in love with~ME~, and in our case, love trumped her sexuality.
Huh….um. No way to parse that out here.
I also have been dismissed as a potential partner because “bi girls just can’t make up their minds” and are “users”. I think that probably those were the reactions of women who have been poorly treated by thoughtless people.
If it is a cold comfort to you, being fucked because you are the closest breathing mammal around doesn’t feel any less shitty when the person is of the opposite sex
I hope you’ll share this with us at the QOM, Missy!
Peace.
~Mo
Aug 1st, 2008
Jiz Lee
Can you possibly get any hotter?
Love your lyricism and power in reclaiming the experience. I too was the subject of many experiments in sexual desire and questions of orientation/identity. It’s an interesting situation and you not only explain the situation with grace, but also offer a tantalizing rebuttal performance.
…And, it made me want to squeal and throw my panties at you.
Aug 1st, 2008
fivestar
Hey y’all,
Thanks for the love, I’m glad you liked it. I love making music and I’m so excited to share. I thank Queer Open Mic for helping me put myself out there lately.
JIZ- Thanks for the validation. and… ::shyly:: would you mind signing your panties before you throw them at me;)?
MO- Thanks for your Tweet the other day. It got me really thinking about identity which encouraged me to make this post. From what it sounds like, everyone’s been hurt and we can all get triggered easily.
Aug 1st, 2008
Passerby
You are a flicker of light in the darkness for me, and I thank you.
Peace be with you. <3
Aug 2nd, 2008
fivestar
Passerby,
Thanks for stopping by. You’re always welcome here.
-Fivestar
Aug 5th, 2008
Nikki Nefarious
Good god! This is great and I liked it
“desire does not define identity and identity has the power to stifle desire” you are absolutely gorgeously brilliant!
Aug 7th, 2008
Franko!
One word…ROCK-ON!!! (or is that two???)
“Identities are always in a crisis…yet, the balance of all we are, coincide.”
Keep doin your thing…
-SickPoet
Aug 13th, 2008
Jesse Vernon
hot damn. more, please!
watching you play is always a pleasure and now i get to share it w/folks up here! i love how you capture rage and passion and sweetness and sarcasm and coded kinky threats in one little cover.
now, where’s the music video? (hint, hint)
Aug 13th, 2008
Ariel
Made me smile.
-Ariel from IMsL
Aug 14th, 2008
Fivestar
Nikki, Franko- Really Glad y’all liked it!
Jesse- Yes! I’ll have to do more. I was thinking about changing that “You’re So Gay Song” to talk about a classmate in high school who committed suicide… but its kind of a downer.
Ariel- Good to see you ’round these parts!! Hope you’re doing well.
Aug 14th, 2008
twizzle
Oh my gawd, you fuckin’ rock, girl! (We met briefly at BlogHer — I was the Kimchi Mama sitting at the same table as you during the group keynote on Friday, July 18).
I sing and play guitar, too, but would never in hell have the balls to go public w/ anything I’ve done.
Thank you for this song. It’s really great!
Aug 15th, 2008
Fivestar
Hey Twizzle,
You should reconsider taping yourself and sharing your music (and when you decide to, send a link!) Happy you like the song.
Aug 20th, 2008
Baby Names
nice song i love it
Aug 20th, 2008
workout mommy
WOW! This is fantastic! Great song and great voice! Thanks for sharing it!
(we also met briefly at BlogHer)
Aug 25th, 2008
Essin' Em
This is brilliant! How have I not heard about you before?
I keep trying to explain to people that no, this isn’t a queer friendly song…that in fact, it’s kinda homophobic. Some people get it, some don’t, but this song is bloody genius.
-Essin’ Em
Aug 30th, 2008
aag
Most awesomely awesome. Love it!
Aug 30th, 2008
Curvaceous Dee
That was fantastic! Not only do you make a damned good point (and I, too, prefer the Jill Sobule version - ‘well have our pearls’), but your voice! *guh* You’re an amazing singer, and I really enjoyed watching and listening to you perform your version.
xx Dee
Aug 30th, 2008
Mary Pat
Of course, I love your talent. You are totally awesome and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You have really come into your own… keep being exactly who you were always meant to be. BIG HUG to you… can’t wait to see you for sushi.
Sep 4th, 2008
fivestar
Thanks all, again, for the love. Thinking of posting another cover.
Sep 5th, 2008
Tabby
I always thought I was the only one that was bothered by the aspects of this song.
I really, really hate when I get into a relationship, and it turns out they were just curious.
Your song makes so much more sense, and has so much more feeling, than a experience kissing some random girl that had some tasty cherry chapstick.
This is like the 10th time I’ve read this blog (didn’t comment prior) and it seriously, is the best writting blog ever.
Please make a mp3 out of this song, so I can blast it out of my iPod speakers everytime they play the Katy Perry song on the radio !!
Sep 7th, 2008
Tabby
ah dang, sorry I just have to write that I wrote writting instead of writing written.
take care.
Sep 7th, 2008
Volatelle
i too was a little irked by katy perry’s song for exactly the same reasons. long before actually coming out, i was almost every straight girl friends ‘experimental game’…your song epitomizes what would run through my head whenever they would try to deny it
your song made me giddy, hot and feel totally avenged….thank you
Sep 14th, 2008
Rebelious Rika
This is such a wonderful post. Very helpful and informative with people sharing the same sentiments about the song. Anyways, I would like to also invite you to check out Naked Tube - you might find it interesting and useful.
Sep 25th, 2008
Q
~swoon~
Is there anything you can’t do? I love this!!
Oct 1st, 2008
Fivestar
Tabby,
Thanks for stopping by, I’m working on getting an MP3 up soon.
Volatelle,
You’re very welcome. I’ll get you a response to your dare soon!
Hey Q,
Glad you liked the song. It was great running into you at Folsom. See you soon, I hope!
Oct 5th, 2008
lauren
this is great. i’m totally impressed. i have this song that your voice would be perfect for. you know.. like when when we’re not busy. haha. priorities. speaking of - i’m drinking water. as i type.
Oct 15th, 2008
Fivestar
@Lauren Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad you liked the song. I’m happy to hear you’re drinking water. I’m trying to get even more hydrated myself. We should get together and jam if we don’t run into each other at some big lesbo event first!
Oct 16th, 2008
Marisa
Hey you, glad to see you’re still playing guitar and making videos! I agree that this song needed a serious makeover, and props to you for doing it with style.
It’s been ages since we talked, but I thought I’d drop a line and say hi. Looks like exciting times in the SF bay– your blog makes me miss the place. We should catch up someday! -a former Mills homegirl
Nov 14th, 2008
daisybones
LOVE. This is amazing. You have converted a new fan.
Feb 13th, 2009
Lara
Finally a version of this song I actually like!
Apr 22nd, 2009
aenn
this is awesome! please record an album? or an EP? something? pleeease!
Jun 26th, 2009
d_mazatl
@fivestar, It just makes me happy to find other queers who grew up in traditional Mexican Catholic neighborhoods. You have my love.
Aug 19th, 2009
lora
Wow.. i really like the song your are such a genius in singing..
Oct 15th, 2009
Jare
HELL YEAH!!!
Dec 8th, 2009
just a girl
I’d kiss you,
and I’d like it
and I’d own it.
Well done. Her song pissed me off too.
Keep up your talent, you’re great.
Godspeed and follow your bliss.
Mar 7th, 2010
Achtung_Baby
Wow what a great singer ! I really like the timbre of your voice !
You are cute, you sing very well, I read that you’re a godd kisser, have you all the talents ?
The song of Katy Perry gets on my nerves because when you love girls it’s not an experimental game . There are straight girls who fucks with my queer friends only to test and they hurt htem .
Personnaly I keep safe, I only had love stories with girls I was sure they were not straight . Once I was with a bi but it was a bad experience . After our story, she had a love story with her best friend ( a boy ) and then at the same time she met a girl but without telling it to her boyfriend .
Bi-people are to complicated .
Now I avoid bi-girls and straight girls ! ^^
But it’s a fantasy for some girls who love girls to have an affair with straight girls hoping to make them changing maybe but they always come back with their boyfriends, so I won’t try .
PS : Sorry for my English, I’m French so I try to do my best ! :p
I saw you in the Crash pad series ( they are quite well-known in France),then I found your website, well … you look really amazing !
Ah for the kisses, everybody talk about the french kiss, so French are the best of the world, sorry ! lol
Mar 9th, 2010
Jason Samia
sorry about your first girl!
like your voice…
glad i met you at the alc ride
-Jason
Jun 24th, 2010
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